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Round 30, Week 3

by Monday Morning 3AM Music Club

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1.
I DONT NEED NOBODY, THATS WHAT I TELL MYSELF SLEEPYTIME AND HONEY RIGHT THERE ON MY SHELF LADIES ON THE INTERNET SAY NICE THINGS TO ME WHEN I RUN OUT OF MONEY, NO ONE WILL TALK TO ME IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY, SO I DON’T LEAVE MY HOUSE I POP PILLS IN THE MORNING, HELL I POP PILLS ALL DAY LONG SEE I’VE GOT A FEAR, OF JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING MY HANDS SHAKE, MY BODY ACHES, RIGHT NOW MY FACE IS NUMB WHY AM I AFRAID WHY AM I THIS WAY WHY AM I AFRAID AND WILL IT EVER GO AWAY
2.
Winters cold has returned, I close my eyes I’m impressed with the thought of dreaming And the days go by ever slowly now I’m awakened to find nothing changed We pass this by We close our eyes We call this thing freezing Some will give in Some won’t return We call this thing freezing I shake when I’m alone too long I scratch myself til I’m bleeding I start again, then I shut down All Eyes on me, all eyes on We pass this by We close our eyes We call this thing freezing Some will give in Some won’t return We call this thing freezing Out under the moon I howl and cry I will wake up again Alone and dry All bent but alive We call this thing freezing
3.
First I heard I ain’t fixed right everything’s a joke Saw my name in the Piece of sky Through the hole the sun has broke She took my hand To the street below Ready for a boy’s new game I stole her cloth
I stole her words And I lied about my name All the rivers come From that one before All the way back to the sea Lay your pain inside And you wash away The water flows around your feet She led me down Where the river flowed preacher sang so sweet The lame cried high The sick cried low The man just shift his feet “Tell me why you’re here if that’s why you come Just turn around and go Think you’ll leave your pain at the river side To be washed away, so slow?” All the rivers come From that one before All the way back to the sea Lay your pain inside And you wash away The water flows around your feet Won’t find sleep Til I leave my pain In the shallows of the Rich red river flow In the falling of the rich red rain Thought I saw some Paradise but the face, it disappeared Plunge my eyes Til the current caught No more fury no more fear All the rivers come From that one before All the way back to the sea Lay your pain inside And you wash away The water flows around your feet Won’t find sleep Til I leave my pain In the shallows of the Rich red river flow In the falling of the rich red rain
4.
Sometimes I realize I'm fuckin happy Sometimes it feels like I've struck gold And sleep feels like it's overrated and I feel like I will never get old I don't mind if the moment's gilded Not all that glitters is always pure after the moment passes I return to being unsure Is it always just so fleeting will the moment always pass am I a fool to think this feeling will always last Can I make it stay forever this moment that I hold and my mind turns to reflection and I remember when I struck gold In the blooms of your recognition In the warmth of your glowing smile Every turn I took has depth and I love every crooked mile that brought me to this moment I'll dig eternal just to find a few flakes of your attention that calms a foolish mind Is it always just so fleeting will the moment always pass am I a fool to think this feeling will always last And when you turn away the shadow's always cold compared to the halcyon days of when I struck gold
5.
6.
7.
I am o k This isn't too bad I think it's working Or is this Franz? What if they notice? What if they don't? Am I a fraud? How did this happen? What was I thinking? Why did I try? I am o k My nerves are electric They need a reset I need some sleep It is what it is It is what it isn't Out in the deep I am o k
8.
Counting Sheep Jump in the vortex Of endless anxiety Far as the eye can see No use resisting Just go on existing No one sees underneath Sleep, oh, sleep Thoughts that creep Up in the night Oh, leave me be! Sleep, oh, sleep Counting sheep All night long Please let me sleep Been this way Long as I remember Thoughts they glow like embers Down deep dark tunnels Pour it in a funnel And get some peace for once Worried about… What am I worried about?! About everything and anything! Anything on my mind Can’t help it It’s the reason I lose sleep…
9.
Gliding in slowly She invites the rain Freezing and timeless Her shiv’ring refrain Dancing to music That runs down the spine Leaving me frightened And doubting my mind Sweet Annie Tempest Please grant me reprieve Show me this kindness I need some relief Your kisses so cold A terrible chill And here I am held Against my will Pressure is building No solace today Annie of madness She takes me away Naphthalene river Of fear and distrust Carries me blithely To kingdoms of rust Sweet Annie Tempest Please grant me reprieve Show me this kindness I need some relief Your kisses so cold A terrible chill And here I am held Against my will Left there in earnest My love does deride Sweet Annie Tempest My cold blooded bride
10.
Far From The Sun Did I come this way before or did I just a lose my way Am I back where I begun Suffocating parlor game Once in a while I ask myself a question Look in the mirror can’t see my reflection Who knows where the river bends Who knows where the road will end Far from the Sun Far from the Sun Feel the trembling in my knees hands are shaking ill at ease Tired of phony guarantees coming from the wannabees had my fill of bad intentions Getting squeezed and indigestion Who knows where the river bends Who knows where the road will end Far from the Sun Far from the Sun Far from the sun I give myself away Far from the Sun I crash into the waves Far from the Sun I’m counting down the days Far from the Sun Did i come this way before or did I just a lose my way Am I back where I begun Suffocating parlor game Once in a while I ask myself a question Look in the mirror can’t see my reflection Who knows where the river bends Who knows where the road will end Far from the Sun Far from the Sun
11.
vFriday nights are usually the worst Pressure pushing down like aching thurst Even if I never make a sound Not sure if it’s the wine or the crazy world around I don’t sleep anymore I can't sleep anymore Soldiers in a battle, some long forgotten war I don’t sleep anymore I can't sleep anymore Sanity and sorrow hard to think Mixed up like a bartenders next drink Even when I’m having a good day Not sure it will last, or quickly fade away I don’t sleep anymore I can't sleep anymore Soldiers in a battle, some long forgotten war I don’t sleep anymore I can't sleep anymore
12.
v1: It's not just terrifying It's more like paralyzing // I can't move ----- It's nothing like sadness And don't you call it madness // That's not true ch: But it's not too late You know this can wait until the dawn But before we start You should know it's hard... sometimes... to carry on v2: It's not so horrifying The opposite of flying // It's running on ice ----- A multitude of questions We need no intercession // so don't think twice ch: But it's not too late You know this can wait until the dawn But before we start You should know it's hard... sometimes... to carry on br: So take your foot off the gas and hit the brakes This, too, shall pass, no matter what it takes ----- So take your foot off the gas and hit the brakes This, too, shall pass, no matter what it takes v3: It's not just paralyzing It's more like hypnotizing // I can't see ----- It's nothing like sorrow Beg, steal, or borrow // It's all free ch: But it's not too late You know this can wait until the night But before we start You should know it's hard... sometimes... You should know it's hard... sometimes... You should know it's hard... sometimes...
13.
My daddy likes to rattle The doorknobs every night He’s just makin sure The house is locked up tight One night, he ‘bout rattled The knob right off the door It came off with Momma’s keys And landed on the floor Sometimes all that worry Can eat you up at night You say you just want peace, But you’ve got dogs in every fight You’ve got Ernie on one shoulder Tellin’ you to chill Bert is on the other And you wish he’d take his pills Lettin go ain’t easy, but Darlin, rest assured Chances are that worryin’s Gon’ cause more harm than good My great-grandma Bobo Loved to worry, too Bout Grandma, Uncle David, Aunt Lorraine and me and you When anyone fell ill, Lord She’d hem and haw and fuss With kerosene and turpentine She medicated us Sometimes all that worry Can eat you up at night You say you just want peace, But you’ve got dogs in every fight You’ve got Ernie on one shoulder Tellin’ you to chill Bert is on the other And you wish he’d take his pills Lettin’ go ain’t easy Hangin’ on hurts more Ration out those worries When you know your mind’s at war Lettin go ain’t easy, but Darlin, rest assured Chances are that worryin’s Gon’ cause more harm than good
14.
“Change the Band-Aid” Wake up in the morning Wondering which day it is Which bills are due this week and will I make the ends Splash some water on my face and take a good look inside To question if the man I am would be better left behind Coffee and a spirit become two, three or four Temporary sanity but really mortar for more Problems that I should have faced a long ways back But I’ll just change the Band-Aid to cover up the next attack Squeeze between the jersey walls on the interstate Trying not to die from the guy texting that he’s late Tires are bald it’s using oil and well past 200k The rest are all just killing grass on the edge of the driveway Coffee and a spirit become two, three or four Temporary sanity but really mortar for more Problems that I should have faced a long ways back But I’ll just change the Band-Aid to cover up the next attack Got enough to make the payments But I may just have to slip Swipe that card for a stronger link But a week’s worth of lists All the while try to process news and politics Downbeat then a good steady two, three and four Lead the way, escape like riders on the storm Forget the problems and social quandaries Pressure’s on the Band-Aid bleeding anxiety No matter how you say Things are going to be ok Baby, I don’t feel so great One foot hovering the grave It’s all hurry up and wait Let’s all hurry up and wait

about

This week’s assignment comes from Johnathan Dale Walker:

“Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment. Now, between the political climate and the pandemic the suffering caused by anxiety is greater than ever. Include anxiety as a theme, or a word, in your song."

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released December 14, 2020

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Monday Morning 3AM Music Club Winston Salem, North Carolina

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