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Emily Stewart - Drug Dog in Virginia

from Round 35, Week 5 by Monday Morning 3AM Music Club

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about

A reluctant retirement story with a happy ending - the song title I picked for the prompt was "Police Dog Blues" by Hugh Laurie

lyrics

I was a drug dog in Virginia
Thought I was set for life
Believed I could afford some kids
And possibly a wife
Then one somber July day,
The government decreed
Pack your things, be on your way
We're legalizin' weed

Oh I begged and I pleaded
Years of service weren't enough
In case you didn't know
The canine job market is rough
The captain named me Duke
After his favorite mayonnaise brand
But when they dropped the axe,
That coward didn't take a stand

I was a drug dog in Virginia
Did everything they said
Followed my flea treatment plan
And ratted on Dead heads
I hope those thankless traitors
(Who by the way can't smell)
Miss smokin all them pungent nugs
I sniffed out at hotels

Oh I begged and I pleaded
Years of service weren't enough
In case you didn't know
The canine job market is rough
They said I was a good boy
And they wished that I could stay
But grandiose goodbyes are cheap
Without no severance pay

I was a drug dog in Virginia
Did everything they said
Aided mass incarceration
Filled up private prison beds
The more I think about that job
The more I'm glad it's gone
I'd rather fetch my ball
And leave well-meanin’ folks alone

I was a drug dog in Virginia
'Til my tenure got cut short
They said my acquisitions
Wouldn't hold up in the court
I'm working through my grief
I feel less bitter every day
i'm smoking Northern Lights
To keep anxiety at bay

credits

from Round 35, Week 5, released January 10, 2022

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Monday Morning 3AM Music Club Winston Salem, North Carolina

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