At the tender age of eighteen
he took a young girl's hand
and swore before her father
that by her side he'd stand
a couple of years and kids gone by
he held true to his pledge
but though he walked the straight and narrow
he'd come at last to the edge

and as he stared into the abyss
lord knows what he saw
but it made him turn and run
away from us all

at the young sum of three
my father went away
we moved to Carolina
but in Virginia he would stay
he swore he'd come to visit
and spend time when he could
"Now go on with your momma
and promise you'll be good."

and as he watched us pack and go
I wonder what he felt
tireless grief or sweet relief
or just a taste of hell

All my life
I wondered how you could leave me
what did I do
to make you not want me
and what can I say
to make you want to stay
it's just who I am
you made me this way

As months turned to years
this boy became a man
and questions went unanswered
of where my life began
at random points in life
my dad would reappear
we built on what we had
based on hopes and fears

and you were there for me
like a father should
and we made up for the years
the best that we could

All my life
I wanted to have this thing
it filled a hole in me
with the joy it brings
now we're grown
I guess you had to grow, too
But I'm so glad
that I got to know you

One night in July
my brother called me late
he said, "Dad's gone."
I said, "hold on, wait..
what do you mean, man?"
I just could not believe
I couldn't comprehend
I was too stunned to grieve

I cried through the night
as I lay there awake
and with every passing hour
I could feel my heart break

Now I ask why
you had to leave me
gone too soon
I wish you were still here with me
so much to say
that now remains unsaid
how can I make it through
these tough times ahead

Ten years later,
and the pain has gone away
But sometimes resurfaces
when I hear my daughter say
"I wish I was born sooner,
so I could meet your dad."
I know he would have loved her
forever if she had

But the best I can do
is remember what made us laugh
and share that with her
like an old photograph

And all her life
I wish she could have met you
born too late
But then what can you do?
All I can try
is to be here for her each day
It's just who I am
You made me this way