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G. Edward Cletus McBroomstick - Real Country

from Round 11, Week 7 by Monday Morning 3AM Music Club

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about

Pure satire but it does reflect that I hate pop-country.... I feel pretty strongly about that.

lyrics

Well, you're not real, your not real, real country
I don't give a damn about your truck or your autotune
And before they lay me in the sand
Well I know, without you, it's a better country land

Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan make me sick
And that Taylor Swift can go and suck a... well, a stick
And Keith Urban's not going anywhere
He's just an aussie with some Pantene Pro-V hair

And I die with your fake ass sounds when you reference Hank
If he were here, he'd slap you around and pour himself a drink

You're not real, your not real, real country
I don't give a damn about your truck or your autotune
And before they lay me in the sand
Well I know, without you, it's a better country land

Brad Paisley, yep he can play a guitar
But his songs are like an impalement from a handlebar
And Darius Rucker, what the hell have you done
I guess that Hootie died and gave us his dull stepson

Well I vomit everytime that you call on Merle and you think you're cool
If he were here, he'd kick your ass with a broken old bar stool

You're not real, your not real, real country
I don't give a damn about your truck or your autotune
And before they lay me in the sand
Well I know, without you, it's a better country land

Now Kenny Chesney, he sings about going back
But if I were rapper, I'd say his songs were wack
And Blake Shelton, he thinks he's a TV star
He should stick to that because his music will leave a scar

And you take your orders from clearchannel and, I don't mind
But tell me now, just what it's like, to be taking it from behind

You're not real, your not real, real country
I don't give a damn about your truck or your autotune
And before they lay me in the sand
Well I know, without you, it's a better country land

credits

from Round 11, Week 7, released August 1, 2016

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Monday Morning 3AM Music Club Winston Salem, North Carolina

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