J. Dale Walker - The Marathon of '04

from Round 36, Week 2 by Monday Morning 3AM Music Club

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about

Another last minute hail mary. I worked on a different piece entirely that I couldn't quite finish (hopefully I'll be able to use it this round though) so I threw together a dinky little thing about one of my favorite Olympics stories.

Side note: Everything in this song actually happened in the 1904 Summer Olympics marathon.

lyrics

Knew a man from Cuba
In 19 hundred three
Andarin Carvajal y Soto
Ran in St Louis
Loved his women, loved his dice
Went broke in New Orleans
Made his way by slow hitchhike
To the heat of Missouri
Weirdest race twas ever run
In penny loafers, August sun

Andarin Carvajal y Soto
Called Felix by his friends
Underdog he was for certain
One of Cuba’s best mailmen
Raised some money on his route
Pursuing his great dream
Saved enough then hopped a boat
Set sail for St Louis
Confident that he would win
Lost it all on his favorite sins

Ol’ Felix was a wild one
Showed up in working slacks
Saw his fellow racer’s shorts
And cut some inches back
Shots rung out, the race began
A cloud of dust befell
Some numb nut thought a car out front
Would serve the racers well
One poor fella he almost died
In a pound of dirt found lungs inside

The fellas went out running
They say the heat was hell
Was no water to be had
‘Cept the six mile marker well
Felix, he got distracted
As a man of good taste would
A man was selling peaches
Felix stole one cause he could
Feeling quite refreshed he went
Man, that fruit was heaven sent

Our hero kept moving forth
Like ol’ Pheidippides
Then you know he lost his way
In a grove of apple trees
‘Cided he would eat one
I mean, why the Sam hell not
Ain’t like they was racin’
And it was awful goddamn hot
Ain’t like he laid down for a quick nap
Oh wait…he did and that explains like a 45 minute gap

Ol, Felix fucking legend
Came in a strong fourth place
That is after Fred Lorz
Admitted his disgrace
It seemed that our man Freddie
Had got himself a ride
I shit you not this happened
He was disqualified
Ain’t no moral to this story
Like Felix the Legendary

credits

from Round 36, Week 2, released March 14, 2022

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