Last week, I had one of those perfectly edifying Facebook pissing contests with some random assclown that happened to get his panties in a wad about a fairly innocuous fact-checking-esque remark I made on a friend's thread. Should've kept my mouth shut. Didn't keep my mouth shut. Ever heard of anything like that happening? This song is every bit as pointless and tedious as that conversation. Sorry. Mildly fun to get it out of my system. Assignment finished. Next, please.
Oh, right - the assignment. Well, I came up with that first stanza before I attached it to the subject matter at hand and thought it was fairly funny. So, at least there's that.
lyrics
I was busy strangling puppies
Beating grandma, lynching yuppies
Or whatever else it is you think I do
On my weekends off
I'm not the devil, just an
Ordinary level of those
Knee-jerk, commie bastard
Colbert-sucking pinko types
And I refuse to hear you through
I'll tell you why
Cause you're a douchebag
Nothing in that poor kid's belly
Least you've got your Megyn Kelly
Centerfold to keep you warm
And I'm a white flag
Giving up the ghost so soon
Always showing up at high noon
Just in time to step in slime
Apologies for mujahideen
Drop my shoulder setting screens
Wouldn't know what fair play was
If Bill O'Reilly walked me home
So let's agree to disagree
And learn to use the backspace key
Long before we have this talk again at the
Police precinct
And I refuse to hear you through
I'll tell you why
Cause you're a douchebag
Nothing in that poor kid's belly
Least you've got your Megyn Kelly
Centerfold to keep you warm
And I'm a white flag
Giving up the ghost so soon
Always showing up at high noon
Just in time to step in slime
So I'll go play in traffic
And you can go and f- yourself
And ain't we wiser now we've had this little interchange?
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