Well I got put on probation, by my good ol friend Corky
I'll write a song on probation, cause Corky was a bit grumpy
I followed the loose rules given, but he said that I did it all wrong
Well I've had the blues and feel I'm gonna die, cause Corky didn't like my song
See I've got blues and feel like I wanna cry,cause Corky didn't like my song

Well you say you like my band
and that we have a sound thats fresh
you say you cant quite find the genre to fit us into
But my lyrics seem dark and unclean
and you ask me what all my songs titles mean
and want me to explain everything to you

Kiss my ass and suck my twat
if you don't like the songs I got
I write them for the smarter folks who care
If ya wanna hear some happy tunes
go fuckin listen to some Big Bang Boom
and dance with all the 10 year olds in there

You ask if I know Wagon Wheel
You ask if I know Simple man
you say you're getting married and want to play guitar for your friends to hear
And you got good money on hand
if you can play a few songs with the band
and that you'll tip us well,if you can use my gear

Kiss my ass and suck my twat
if you don't like the songs I got
I'll keep writing my songs, you keep drinking beer
If you want to hear the songs you know
go hear the Plaids play Jenny Jenny at their show
with all the khaki wearing popped collar Wake Forest fucks around here

Your bar is just a doublewide
but you tell me to come inside
You tell me to setup in the corner of your shack
You say "we dont' have much cash for you
But we cooked a mean chicken stew"
Then ya asked me if I know that song by Nickleback

Kiss my ass and suck my twat
if you don't like the songs I got
You love my music but want me to play for free
If my songs are too dark for you
I think Jason and Jerry might be playing tonight too
and they'll play ya happy 8 song medley's in the key of E

Well I won't badmouth Duncan cause I don't know him well
and Clay is 7 foot 18 inches, so I guess I'll say he's swell.
I guess Ill be like Mitchell Snow, and off to Canada is where I'll go
and we'll both write fantastic records and never put them out!

(Spoken word)
Well I met Albus for the first time the other day
he was getting ready to sing some Prince.. Darling Nikki to be exact
and I asked him.. will you hit those high notes? and he said why yes
I didn't believe that shit for a minute, but when he got on that mic
and started belting out those lyrics I swear he sounded like somone put his nuts
in a vice just right, and he hit those ungodly orgasmic screams at the end of that song
like he was getting double fucked by two black studs.
So Kudos Albus Kudos. you probably wont' give me points but kudos

Kiss my ass and suck my twat
if you don't like the songs I got
I probably wont' get any points for them like I said
And I think I've name dropped you all
this Monday morning shits been a ball
but now I've got to go
Gonna go fingerbang my girl, and watch the new walking Dead