Ugh. This is so NOT the song I wanted or intended to write this week. I meant to sit down and write a heartfelt, nuanced narrative. Souls in torment kind of thing, kites in hurricanes, blah blah blah. Instead, this came out, the kind of broad political/social humor I don't usually hold much truck with. But the Muse and the schedule said otherwise, so here's what you get. I tried to inject just enough James McMurtry/Hayes Carll caustic wit to make it palatable, but it is what it is ...
lyrics
"No matter what you say to me
Them gays they got it wrong,"
Your mom said on the phone today
While I was hitting on the bong
I just rolled my prayer rug
And spilled my purple drank
Took my big fat welfare check
Right down to the bank
Babe, you know I love you, but
Sometimes it gets old
Living with yr Dad, the chief of the local
Border Patrol
Keeping all them immigrants out of
Pfafftown, King, and Clemmons
Bitching 'bout the Africans
And that uppity Don Lemon
Yr sister's bouncing round
Singing some damn song by Miley
Yr daddy looks me up and down
While quoting Bill O'Reilly
They say that we're divided
Past the point of consensus
But that's just at the point where we all
Drop all our defenses
Tighter than the cat and mouse
Living in a Red-blue house
"You call that thing a job you do?"
Yr momma loves to say
But that's her favorite hobby
While she sits around all day
"You kids are all so lazy, with yr
lattes and yr androids
i'm tired of paying taxes
For your pap smears and yr hemorrhoids"
My head is spinning round from all the
Causes that we harped on
If you need me, I'm making macrame and
Excuses for Al Sharpton
Thank god, our family ain't got no
Political ambition
Cause lord knows blowing hot air
is a pre-existing condition
Yr sister's bouncing round
Singing some damn song by Miley
Yr daddy looks me up and down
While quoting Bill O'Reilly
They say that we're divided
Past the point of consensus
But that's just at the point where we all
Drop all our defenses
Tighter than the cat and mouse
Living in a Red-blue house
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